Such Stuff

 

Such Stuff

 

Sometimes there’s a flurry of interest

in some older lines

I wrote, when the universe

was less than half its present size

and such wisdom I was gifted was not wise.

These words wrote for bad luck – named for 96 -

penned 10 years ago when I was sick,

and, as such, more a McFlurry of a poem

rather than a stiff breeze

raking her insubstantial hands through leaves

to pour over what can be read

in such shed skeletons littered there.

Such stuff is hard to scan,

some younger self buried within

interred in murky caverns where

the only touch is the feeling fingers of despair

scoping mossy walls.

Ah – we’re scarcely there at all:

Recall, it was dubbed voluntary

but do it - or we'll all go to the wall -

they’d offered parting presents, a speech

from his own to each –

‘Here’s a record voucher, take it to Pete’s.’

At first you refused, shook a sullen head,

but, acquiesced, spared shame – redeemed it:

there was no love - blank slates

that waxed lyrical and £20,000, give or take.

So, you can see, any words from then

are tainted like a sailor’s tar–dyed nails,

scarred autumn brown; when I sailed

I left a mess behind, well, you do

when it’s sprung like a trap – it’s true

she said she’d wait, but I don’t blame her:

I did, you understand? It burnt,

tormented those coils within until unlearnt,

a rubbing of sea salt into rashes - make it sting,

flesh abraded, buffed raw, to delight in singing

dirges – yo-heave-ho – something Siberian.

Leave it at that –

ten years after the fact, those words

were mulch, a sediment forked

after all that was said and more that was thought –

such stuff

as blossomed windfall apples.