Rejoice

 

Rejoice

 

Rejoice, rejoice, rejoice.

Here’s a lady’s maid, with voice

and all the speed of a tortoise

alack, she lacks alacrity,

started well, but there’s the pity,

she flattered to deceive.

Oh, she cries out, special needs,

Attention deficits,

no OCD no chronic fatigue

and she smiles so prettily -

look, that’s me, unable to see,

hot flushes, cold flushes,

a rash of blushes,

gather rosebuds round me

making blissful fuss,

I’m doubled over in such pain,

I fear I will not be capable

to ever rise from my bed again,

bring me from here

to Thrushcross Grange

and me and me and me and me,

raising spiked drinks,

to my trembling lips,

but didn’t think, as my old father

was pleased to say

as he chewed upon bitter gourds.

But, my dear, we can scarce afford,

exorbitant fees for the petting zoo,

so, what can we do?

Your kids are some neglected,

your books are uncorrected,

your colleagues begin to mutter

that your bread and butter

is only fit for puddings.

Take this ticket that we give you,

take it honey hold it high,

here’s a plane - rejoice and fly,

wave hello, say goodbye.