“Good morning, everybody.
The headteacher sends her apologies as similarly her husband had to journey to an appointment in Witney, Oxfordshire, but moreover, they will be staying there for the appointment until the duration is over and, on the other hand, when she will come back.
Now, likewise, looking back to last week, senior leadership team was involved in investigating why the pigeonhole section of the staffroom smelt of gone off bacon and who, thereafter, put bacon bits into Mr Iqbal’s pigeonhole. These were, moreover, Sainsbury’s bacon bits and, equally, were past their sell by date. Also, on the internet these can be called lardons.
Mr Iqbal complained to SLT about the bacon bits. He complained that SLT had inserted bacon bits into his pigeonhole No. No. SLT has never inserted bacon bits into anybody. Bacon bits were placed in the pigeonhole by an unfortunate accident. They were due to be posted to Mrs Murghaty in the DT Food department and, as such, the bacon bits were never intended to be received by Mr Iqbal who, on the other hand, left them there alongside his copies of the new behaviour and uniform policies and they went off in the pigeonhole section of the staffroom.
Thank you, correspondingly, to the Science Faculty for the Science week. Many of you will know it was Science week last week. Science week was organised, at the same time, by Mr Pidton. Throwing eggs by parachute from the upper floor Science rooms was a practical experiment in escape velocity.
SLT received several complaints about the eggs landing on the staff in the Maths Faculty. Well done, however, to Mrs Murghaty who was able to combine these eggs, for the extent of the week, with Mr Iqbal’s bacon bits which will similarly show the school is environmentally friendly.
This week we have had several complaints from parents and stakeholders. These complaints from parents and stakeholders are about the new behaviour and uniform policies. We take these complaints seriously and SLT has decided to inseminate a survey for the use of possibly taking down our data of the policies. Teachers must now, at the origins of their lessons and the terminations, check pupils for ear ring usage, nail varnish application and, on no account, mobile phones.
Pupils wishing to use the school toilet must be issued with a ‘wee wee pass’ for the duration of their visit and to be accompanied by an adult member of staff of their choice or the class teacher. Whichever is nearest. On no account must they likewise be allowed to use coats in the school building. There was an incident of only last week where some yoghurt was put on a coat.
Opposite to this, we are expecting a visit from certain visitors. These visitors begin with O and we don’t mention them, do we? On the other hand, SLT are sure they will continue to find our school is, similarly, an outstanding one. They will sit in a car at the bottom of the lane to give us 24 hours’ notice with a phone call. After that we can expect a visit inside 24 hours.