Social mediocre photo pest,
cocktail dresses to excess,
lumpen, frumpen, sporting sails;
launch The Pequod, lampoon the whale.
Guzzling gin and troughing cake,
Posting pictures somehow fake.
Vacant grin and double chin,
stinks out photos she is in.
Peripheral centre of attention,
shares whenever she craves affection.
What’s app? She’ll instagrab a grand
of emojis to demonstrate a stand.
Message, guessage, profile tricks,
relishing wrecks of relationships.
With nearly friends in almost places,
pictured with her mind in stasis.
Hector, Lector, vile spectre,
Turns up when you most expect her.
Retweeter keeper, likes collector,
timeline detective tick inspector.
Grizzler, grunter, snuffle truffler,
tell her but you’ll never muffle her.
Sodden fag-butt best forgotten,
teaspoon stuck at the bowel’s bottom.