Mary
Mary was a year older than him,
an upper sixth while he was lower
enough to paint pictures of love
in broad brushstrokes imagined,
always woke from naïve dreams
before knocking and entering in.
He only ever managed shy grins
back then, but they shared time
in the common room and spoke
words that had lots in common
were pleased that they got along,
firm friends with touched bases,
dilated pupils and flushed faces
and thoughts about inner places
which age must keep close secret.
A year was all the difference then,
if he would leap then so must she,
that’s how it must have seemed,
her great wisdom and maturity
in womanhood had blossomed;
his months were only flotsam
tossed and floating in her flood.
Catholic pure and freckled skin,
he can still see her hair framing
those dark eyes and softening
her coquettish smile in porcelain,
his tongue tied moisten her lips,
then, in a desperation, he slips
one day, folded half-baked note
into her purse: ‘Ring’ it urges
in trembled, cursive ink-stroke.
There’s numbers. I can’t recall
how it goes or what was there,
but a boy, he’s waiting her call,
bitten nails, in the sallow hall
of his parents’ home, forbidden
to ever use that phone himself
on pain of charges, and the cost
is to incur his father’s wrath,
more thick ears or purple bruise
or skin marks left by tender shoe.
Waiting near, for fear they hear,
rehearsing all the lines he’d say,
still there’s no shrill bell, until
at last snatched from the cradle,
on hearing her voice, he’s unable
to mutter even a syllable. Chokes.
I still hear those sounds of throat
closing and struggled heartbeat,
think each word that retreated,
how it could not be completed.
Weak joke - didn’t put that note
he cannot sing, bring him to say,
‘Mary, I love so much, it hurts.'
He went away. Sailed off to sea,
but once, while he was on leave,
he phoned again and they agreed
to catch up to where they were.
She's coming, heart's drumming
for it's surely more than friendship,
this new man preening in her slip,
evermore clutched by time's grip,
to hum notes he always will regret
and he knows he never will forget.
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